However, the reality is sometimes quite different and as you start working for SPEAK, we want to you to be aware of what it really means. That in reality it can be quite a hard process, spiritually draining as well as fulfilling, stressful as well as exciting, and mundane as well as dynamic. These reflections are borne out of people’s experience and are not designed to put you off – just to help you count the cost of what you are embarking on.

The NST isn’t A SPEAK Group!

Unfortunately, working in the SPEAK office isn’t like being part of a constant SPEAK group. Not many of us are involved in the exciting on the ground actions. Infact, our job is not to do them but to do the hard graft of supporting and mobilising the Network to get active. This means doing things like spending days ringing organisations to help with publicity, drafting network emails and checking the spelling and grammar, liasing with printers, meeting deadlines and sorting our spreadsheets of information so we all know what’s going on.

We don’t spend ages praying and dreaming up ideas, we respond (and pray over!) what comes out the Network and figure out how to practically support it.

Leaving Your Own Agenda Behind

Now, this isn’t strictly true but we are here to serve and support the network. Clearly your own vision for SPEAK is crucial to engaging in your work with your heart and soul but you are not a maverick!! You’re part of a support team where there is undoubtedly going to be enough to be getting on with to help make it work without each of trying to implement our own new ideas. The whole point of being a network is that we do things as a group, that new ideas are fed through flower model and decided on by a core team, after being refined and shaped by the people who have committed to that specific area. In the past we have had people want to get into working for speak to begin their own thread of a campaign which really isn’t the NST job. That should all happen in the petal with consultation and prayer before anything goes ahead.

The Financial Reality

Although our ethos suggests that we should be working towards a simple lifestyle and not accumulating worldly wealth, the reality of living on a small support-raised income can be quite draining and demoralising. It’s also an amazing blessing to know that there are people who believe in you and what you’re doing enough to givefinancially and commit to prayer and it is one of the most sustainable ways to live. But it takes a lot to get to that point of sustainability.

It’s also stressful at times to be unsure of where our next bit of funding for SPEAK as a whole is coming from. We always get through the year and God is very faithful – pulling off miracles and providing in the nick of time – but please understand that the run up can be quite emotional. We will hopefully work on the basis of money following vision – God pays for what he orders! – and that means starting things without any idea of how we will actually be able to pay for it sometimes. This an important spiritual principle but don’t underestimate the energy that goes into coping with financial crisis.

The Spiritual Reality

It’s quite hard to get a good work/prayer balance sometimes and there have been times when we have been stressed and running on empty but other times where God has carried us through difficult periods and given us supernatural strength to do what he wants to happen.

Recently we’ve been reflecting on the idea of working from rest (Isaiah 30), not just working like maniacs and then crashing, and resting from work. It’s difficult though and we need to build in prayer to personal and corporate lives and learn to trust God in all the twists, turns and setbacks. Sometimes it’s very difficult to know where things are going in SPEAK when we struggle with capacity, resources, direction for campaigns and more.

Also, working in a Christian environment can throw up a lot of spiritual and theological challenges which you may otherwise get through life without having to deal with. Although you will learn and grow through these, and hopefully get to a place where you really own your own faith, it can be quite a tussle in the intervening period, internally, with others in SPEAK and with our friends and partner organisations. Sometimes, the NGO and Christian organisation world shockingly displays corporate values and competitiveness. This can be quite a shock to the system and can easily drag us into the same mindset. Our integrity and legitimacy can be at stake and it’s a struggle to hold on to the Christ-like values we want to.

The Network

We love the Network, but they can be quite hard work at times. The idea is that they do it, but in reality, we spend a lot of time chasing people up and hoping they will come through on the very good and exciting things they promised…

When events are coming and you're in the office every night til midnight because someone who said they would do something hasn’t (don't worry - it doesn't get this bad!), it can often feel like the network doesn’t actually exists. But they do! And they care, are inspiring and are the hope for the future! You just happen to be standing in the gap for a time, spurring them on, helping their vision become a reality until they get the knack, see what’s possible and go for it. It’s difficult though because you can’t complain and have to constantly encourage but don’t worry, we all know how it feels and can be in solidarity with each other in the birth pangs for the next generation.

Read on for a story about how this idea of taking steps faith has been a reality in the NST